Fun Friday: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Theme Song (extended)

Sometime in the past couple of weeks I got hooked on a new Netflix show called Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I won't tell you a bunch about the show or try to sell you on it, but I will say that it is funny, and probably not everyone's cup of tea. I've had the theme song stuck in my head since I started watching, and I thought I'd share it with you so that I won't be the only one. The theme song comes from the first scene in episode one, so it will give you a hint of what the show is like too.

BONUS: Did you catch this?

Whatevs Wednesday: Unrequited Crush

Since last semester I've had one of those ridiculous baseless crushes. You know the kind you blame on hormones, because you can't think of any other excuse for being hung up over someone that you honestly don't know? It's that kind of crush. Somehow I thought that by my age now I would not allow myself to be dealing with this silliness. Anyhow, what can I say? The guy is pretty cute, and he seems pretty bright as well.If my campus was casting for a stage production of Grey's Anatomy, he'd surely get the role of McDreamy. Enough about him.

I'm up at an unrighteous hour for someone who has to get up and go to work in a while, because BuzzFeed videos have this incredible addictive power over me. I came across a video from last year that I feel was absolutely meant for me, so I thought I'd share it with you.

I personally have hit 10 of the action items on this list. Can you guess which ones? What about you - have you done any of these?

Tuesday's Ten: 10 Feelings I experienced concerning being audited

Here's a day to celebrate the luck of the Irish, and I am anything but. We already know that I'm not Irish, but to be clear I mean that I am anything but lucky. I got the best email yesterday. The subject was "PACE audit". Reading that subject line did not give me warm fuzzy feelings. Here's a bit of the email: "You don’t have to do anything to get ready for me.  We’ll just discuss what I want to look at when I get there. Thanks for your help.  See you tomorrow." So bright and friendly, yet my heart sank to read it anyhow. It's not that I'm worried about discrepancies in accounting, or a lack of records kept. I just know that I'm still getting the hang of all this and records from earlier in the year especially are going to reflect that. Also, anytime I'm being checked or tested, I'm bound to experience a few feelings that are less than pleasant.

Here are 10 feelings I experienced concerning being audited. You my notice that some of them are consistent with the 5 stages of grief:

1. Shock - what the what? What is this?

image via gify

2. Horror - *scared speechless*

image via gify

3. Denial - this can't be happening. This is not happening.

image via gifsoup

4. Anger - who is this woman anyway?!

image via blogger-queens

5. Sadness - why is this happening to me? *sob sob*

image via giphy - Caption: Everything falls apart

6. Depression - well, my life is obviously over. So very over.

image via caughtyoureye

7. Determination - maybe I can fix this . . . or something

image via headoverfeels

8. Defeat - it's all too much. I've lost.

image via totalprosports

9. Anxiety - I guess it's time to face the music

image via lulzgifs

10. Relief - it's over? I'm free? *sigh of relief*

image via wittystory

Confessions (or just ramblings) of a girl who lost her spark

Someone told me today that I had lost my spark. It was a sad and hard truth to hear, but not one that I was entirely unaware of. I guess if you turn out a light, you can't expect that you're the only one who will notice the darkness you leave behind. The thing is, I have felt like a single teeny tiny light in a room full of brightly burning bulbs. And though I did not lose my spark on purpose (I don't suppose that anybody does), I did not really figure that anyone else noticed. I've been thinking about this a lot since that conversation, and I've had to consider a number of other factors as well.

I confessed only slightly in jest this past week, that I had started to tire of hearing other people's good news. I want to say that I'm always only ever happy for others, but sometimes I'm just a bit caught up in wondering when I will have my own amazing news to share.

Conversations and internal reflections have got me to thinking that I'm not particularly good at anything. I can do a number of things well enough, but nothing exceptionally. To be burdened with such normality is dejecting. I get weighed down and I've stayed down like a stone without the ability to pick myself up.

In discussing my lost spark and my thoughts and feelings concerning how ordinary I am, a wise person asked me how I had come to be where I am (as far as success in my job) if I had no particular talent. It was a great question, and my answer was (and still is) "hard work".

There is a belief many carry in the idea that with hard work you can do anything and get anywhere. There may have been a time when I shared that belief, but now I am unsure. I have worked, and still I work hard, harder than people can see or anyone knows, and I'm still not where I want to be. I think I've gradually worked less hard as I've lost my belief in the power of hard work. It seems that what I need is either a stroke of genius or a stroke of luck, and I'm nowhere near getting either of those.

Anyhow, this is not a sob story. This is me thinking out loud on my blog. Maybe these thoughts are better kept in my head, but for whatever reason I feel inclined to share them. Maybe I'll regret that later, but as of right now I think not. Besides, I don't know of anyone other than my sister who actually reads my blog. Shout out to you K.

I want to get my spark back. Regardless of how tired I am, and how hard I feel like I work, I need to get that spark back, because maybe that is the thing I have - not a talent or a special skill, no particular gift, just a spark.

I'm shooting for spark status that looks like this:

image via designboom

Hello 2015

Around this time every year I think about resolutions. I guess we're supposed to think "Here's an opportunity for me to be an even better me!!", which is all good and dandy, but how long does that high last, and was last year's version of myself really so bad? Don't get me wrong - I'll be looking to make improvements and strides this year, I'm just not starting  the year thinking about flaws from my past. Rather, I'm looking forward to marvelous memories that await me in the year 2015.

I saw a New Year's craft on BuzzFeed and knew right away that I would need to make it, and since I loved the idea so much, I created a Facebook event inviting friends to do the same wherever they might be. I don't know that anyone partook, but I don't suppose that matters.The craft is called a rememberlutions jar, for the storing of favored moments throughout 2015, to be read at the end of the year. 

I made my jar, and I have already added my first memory of the year: "Crafting rememberlutions jar with Aunt Kethsia in New York." Simple as that seems, it was quite special to me. My Aunt Kethsia, who is actually the wife of my father's cousin, Jimmy, and a longtime friend of my parents, lives in  Lawrence, New York, where my family stayed with them these past couple of weeks. She has a fantastic craft room, and an upcoming blog (wink wink).

 
 

I've spent the past couple of weeks in a way that I could not have imagined. It was both trying and wonderful, and so completely unexpected. When I get the time, I'll try to post about it. I'm hoping that I manage my time in such a way that I get the time to devote to things like my blog more often. I hope to fill this jar well before the year's end and make several more, filled with awesome memories. Hello 2015!!

My Saturday Night Live: Cleanin' up & Catchin' Up

I really do want to try and keep up with this blog. I had a thing going for all but 2 of the 7 days in the week, although I wasn't able to keep up with them either . . . Anyhow, I thought I might post something today,and I figured I'd start a little something new, whereby I blog about my Saturday nights, mostly because I haven't come up with anything cover for Saturdays besides. I figured most people have a lot more exciting things happening on Saturday nights, which would make sharing mine perhaps a bit ironic. Maybe that works, maybe it doesn't - meh.

Anyhow, tonight I'm up cleaning out my closet and cleaning my room, which has become even more of a disaster as I am cleaning out my closet. I'd post a photo, but it's too shameful for sharing. Let's just say that I've made lots of room in my closet for more clothes. Also, it looks like I don't need the extra hangers I bought the other night, but I'll keep them anyway, because they're green in case I have a closet on campus at UTD in the fall.

I'm also doing laundry, since I suppose that goes hand in hand with cleaning your closet, and catching up on old episodes of "The Mindy Project". This past spring, when I started watching the show, it was beginning its second season. I normally refuse to watch/read any series out of order, but the show was hilarious and I didn't have time to go back and catch up on the first season before the next episode of the second season. So here I am doing it now, and blogging between commercials. I'm currently in the last 10 minutes of episode 8. Can I just say that I love Mindy Kaling? Or at the very least that I love Mindy Lahiri? She shares so much of my alter ego's character. It's possible she inspires it a bit as well.

Well said Mindy. Well said. Spoken like a true hot mess.
via tressugar

Well, I've got church in the morning, so good night.

Waiting in Summer

Oh hey blog - I'm treating this like a diary now -  maybe. I still assume the audience that is clearly not here yet. Anyhow, here's a long overdue post on what I've been up to. In a word, I've been waiting. In case you didn't know it, waiting is hard. Really hard in fact.

JUNE

At the beginning of the summer I was waiting to find out if I would work Summer PACE. PACE is the after school program that I work at, and summer PACE is an extension of that for children whose parents need the service even after school is out. I already worked PACE Plus during the holidays throughout the school year, which I've heard is a real streak of luck for a first year employee. I had also heard that getting both was rare, especially for a school like mine, where our training requirements were a bit less intense. Positions had been filled before summer started and I was on a sublist with high priority if anyone was unable to fulfil their commitment. I was feeling quite hopeless about it by the last day of school. Then on the second day of the first week of Summer PACE I got a call to start the very next day. You can imagine how thrilled I was. I love my job and I really needed the summer hours.

One reason that I needed hours was to finish paying off tuition debt that I owed to the school I had previously attended, the University of Texas at Dallas. I had had to stop attending because of this unresolved tuition balance. I was coming close to wrapping that up and looking to reapply to the school immediately following.

On Sunday June 8th, I had finished paying off that debt, was turning 22, and looking forward to starting my Summer PACE position the very next day. By that point, I had also switched classes at the daycare where I worked and was now working with schoolers, rather than toddlers (a much needed relief, although I do love those wordless little tots). I really didn't much more than that to be happy on my birthday, but my family helped to make it better with our own little party, as we tend to do, and a gift card to Bath & Body Works. Trivial as this may seem in comparison to everything else, I wait every single summer for B&BW Semi-annual sale. Seriously guys - I wait all year for their two big sales, especially the summer sale.

Another less impactful game changer that I had been waiting for was season 4 of Teen Wolf. You may or not be into that, but I most definitely am and having that show return to my Monday routine made summer feel more like summer. My sisters and I gather around to enjoy an awesome story line and a rather attractive cast. Sue me. 

(A couple of moments from tonight's episode - no spoilers)
via stop being so cute

On the seemingly long list of things I am or have waited for this summer, here were a few resolved all at once.

July

Of the "smaller" things that I wait for in life, the World Cup started with a sort of graceless fury. The matches were unlike the first ones I had ever seen back in 2006. It's funny, most of my excitement for the World Cup has nothing to do with the game itself, although I do love soccer for being the world's sport and for encompassing all the best things that a sport can. For one thing, the World Cup is a bit like the Superbowl for me, in that I may not see much of what happens on the screen during the game, but I love what happens around it. There's a fellowship to it that is unique to it, like watching a movie, except rather than being silently sitting on the edge of our seats, we are up out of them screaming at the top of our longs united by a something we root for and believe in, be it a country, a team, a player, or just a brilliant game. The other thing about the World Cup is the guys. They're men I know, but in the sense that I mean, using that term sounded a bit creepy. Whatever. The point is that on the world stage that is FIFA there are some seriously beautiful athletes. And as a female, I can appreciate that, especially when they're running around ripping their shirts off every other time they score a goal, or moving their hips in a celebratory team dance that could only come from South America (RIP Columbia, we'll see you again in 2018)

In other news that hits a bit closer to home, I've waited a couple of weeks to receive more news by way of my employers at PACE. In the last week of June, I got a call that led to an interview for a promotion which would set me from Instructional Assistant to Site Coordinator. It's a bit hard to explain what that means, but the short list of details would show that I'd go from working directly with the children under the direction and program planning of my SC to heading a team of IAs under my own direction and program planning. Another important detail is that the position is a full time position, which would be my first if I got it. And I did - get it that is. Less than week after getting the call, I went in for the interview. I was pretty nervous, especially by the end, because the interview felt so quick. As I was leaving the office where both my Program Specialist and the Program Director had interviewed me, I felt optimistic, as they seemed to like me, but I was a bit hung up on the fact that they had told me that they would "let me know", and they were "still interviewing other applicants". I figured that if I had been what they were looking for, there would be no need for further interviews. I guess I had the right idea, because the very next day, they came by to visit me at the school where I work and deliver in person the news that they had selected me for the position. If I were any more emotional than I am (which is not very much), I would have cried then and there. 

According to the internet, lots of people thought these were the cutest happy tears ever
via My Life is QP

There was one formality to be worked out before I could call it official; I had to meet the principal at this new school and gain her approval. Before any actual scheduling was made to my knowledge, the principal stopped by my school the next week (yesterday). We chatted for a bit and she told me that she was settled on the decision and was ready to have me stop by the school for a tour. Of course she had to send word of her approval to the office, which did not happen right away, but soon enough - today - I got a call from the office officially welcoming me to my new position. So that waiting is over, and I'm pretty psyched about it.

I could attribute this stroke of fortune to the lucky stars I might have crossed, but I know and my parents would certainly not allow me to forget that it is God's grace that sustains me where I am and takes me to where I going.

It will do me well to remember that as I am waiting on the most important decision that I have yet to receive news on. Come August, I am hoping I'll be able to say that I'll be returning to UTD to complete my studies in Emerging Media and Communication. Having paid off my debt, I applied for readmittance, and I am quite anxious to receive a status update on my application. So far everyday that I check it I see nothing particularly helpful.

I can't say I feel very optimistic about it at all. UTD's acceptance rate is about 52%. I know of someone with a good GPA and some impressive work behind her name who was not accepted into the Graduate program. I have neither a stunning GPA, nor an impressive array of work, so I must be holding onto quite the strain of hope. Whatever the case may be, I'm sure that knowing will be better than waiting. If it's meant to be, then it will be, and if not, I will carry on.

During the school year, it seems that we spend so much time wishing for summer to begin. Here I am in the middle of summer wishing that it would end already, because summer is waiting.

Tuesday's Ten: 10 Potential Dangers of Walking the Trail

I live near a pretty nice trail in a neighborhood called Duck Creek. That should be a good enough reason for me to make use of the trail for exercise and/or leisure, but alas, I have an aversion to the walking, and another to the outdoors. Furthermore, I have come to hear about, witness, and experience 10 potential dangers of walking the trail. Here they are:

1. TRIPPING - Yes, I have tripped and fallen on the trail. While I'm well aware that it could happen anywhere, I would rather not have it be on the trail, where passersby may view this ordinary blunder and have a good laugh without stopping to offer a hand up. More than anything, it just hurts my pride - and I try to avoid places and situations where my pride might get hurt.

2. Sweater WEATHER - It's too cooooooold for you here and now . . . love the way that song sounds. Anyhow, weather is another factor that will keep me off the trail. It isn't usually a danger, but there are those occasions where it has been. Mostly, I'm just never satisfied with the weather I guess.

3. Speedy CYCLISTS - This might sound like another item that ought not to be listed as a danger, but I would advise thinking twice on that. Have you seen the cyclists in this city? They seem to think they own the road - and all the land actually. My own brother sometimes rides like a madman and he has had a fall or two. Even for the best, it can be so easy to lose control. There's no telling who or what will be hit in such an instance, so I try to stay out of the way.

4. DOGS unleashed - My mother has a fear of dogs since she was chased by one as a child, and I think I inherited that fear. Walking the trail last Friday I experienced a chase of my own.  Can I just thank the responsible owner who left their dog unattended outside without a leash? No, actually I think I should thank the woman walking the trail behind me who was able to lead the dog away from me by distracting him with her own two dogs.

My heart was pounding and I was screaming for help, since the pursuant dog looked a lot like this in my head.

via comoeumesintoquandoespm.tumblr

I probably looked crazy, because in actuality the dog was approaching me like this. All the same, it wasn't letting up and I promise you it started to pick up speed as I did my best to back away.

via yob.deviantart

5. Angry BIRDS - Kinda like the dogs, the birds on our trail will chase you persistently. Our neighborhood and trail are called Duck Creek for a reason. The birds you've gotta watch are the geese. Can you imagine how insane I look running from a goose? Try instead to imagine being chased by one. They'll come at you full speed, long necks extended, wings outstretched at their sides, making one of two horrible goose sounds - a serpentine hissing sound or their usual miserable honking sound. 

6. Poo Poo - Another bird issue. It's a common problem wherever you find birds and sky, but it seems particularly hazardous on the trail. Ducks are pooing on the ground, and all the other birds are pooing from the sky. Not one spot on the trail is safe.

7. COYOTE ugly - Some coyotes really don't look all that bad, but then there are the rest. I saw one from the safety of my car one morning while passing the trail on my way to work. I would have been terrified to encounter it on the trail and I  know that it could very well happen.

Do you remember Wile E. Coyote?  Oh and good news - coyotes don't typically eat humans.

8. Slithering SNAKES - I guess I'm not much of an animal lover at all. Snakes however, ought to be on everybody's list of dislikes. My siblings once saw a snake on the trail and whenever I think of it, I'm glad it wasn't me - I'd probably never walk there again. They still bike on the trail frequently.

9. Murky WATER - Every now and then the water in the creek has a certain glow and it can look quite pretty, but most days it is murky and I question what lies beneath the surface. I've seen enough curious misfits floating above it. Also, if by some odd circumstance I ever fell in, I'm not sure how I would fair, since I don't exactly know how to swim. 

10. STRANGER Danger - Yes, I know that strangers are everywhere and that not every one is out to get me, but there is always the chance. There is a part of the trail that winds behind houses where many things could go unnoticed (like a girl screaming for help as she is kinda-sorta chased by a dog). In a time where people seem to go missing without a trace every day, I have to bear it in mind and beware of such surroundings.