I think we all have a general understanding we share of the terms “big” and “small”. Still somehow, I find the terms to be so relative and subjective, as is the case with just about everything, I guess. A big deal for you may be small beans for me, but that doesn't make it any less than what it is to you. Enough riddles and rhymes - what I want to talk about is not big or small, but bigger (and not even smaller).
Sometimes I feel like I sit back and watch everyone around me doing things so much bigger than that which I am. I standby, watch, even support, and silently kick myself for not having been further along in life. Then I remember that while there are many things I could have done differently to have been closer to where it is I want to be, there are also many obstacles and setbacks that I have overcome and deal with still. Surely if God has allowed for all this, when my time comes it will be that much sweeter and purer, supposing that I am in fact going through the refiner’s fire.
They say there are no small parts, only small actors. They also say, or rather Shakespeare said, that all the world is a stage. Do these thoughts coincide? If so, I will not be counted as a small actor, no matter how very small my part seems. As I consider and develop who I am and who I would like to be, I try to play my part with grace and meaning that reaches past myself and into that audience referred to as the world. I have loved and pursued communication as a means to do so, building my potential for influence, with a hope not for selfish desires, but selfless needs beyond my own.
In and of myself I have found that to be a trying pursuit with progress that comes in small and seemingly insignificant doses. The impact I make seems so small it seems imperceptible. So I cling to the hope that every cliche about small change making a big difference is true - or at least some of them. Still I feel so small and insufficient.
So now I come to the notion of “bigger” (finally). Since February of this year I have had a chance to be a part of something bigger in a way that feels impactful to me. I have worked as a campus representative for an organization called OneReasonRecordings. The organization is a non-profit organization that raises funds for social justice issues around the world through music. This year the social justice issue that we are tackling is Homelessness. Through our Homes Campaign, we hope to raise $3,200 to provide a family in need with a new, safe and secure house with sanitation. Additionally we are raising awareness of the issue and working on a related project, a nationwide clothing drive, which I might dare to declare has even gone global. So far we have raised nearly $800 toward our $3200 goal and donated more than 2547 articles of clothing from 54 cities And 10 countries. Sunday evening we hit a high point in our campaign process as we released this year’s campaign album, “Foundations”. The moment was a proud one for me not just as a member of the organization, but as a contributing artist to the album. I downloaded the album the moment I had a chance and listened to the other 10 artists, whom I had been so curious to hear. After doing so, I felt small again, for just a moment, and marveled at how my song submission could have been chosen to be among these artists who were far more talented than me.
When I shared that sentiment with my friend Paul, he told me “God will continue to put you into situations like this. Where you feel inadequate. That is where He will get the most glory.”
What a beautiful reminder of how small I am indeed and how much bigger that which I am a part of really is.
I've turned that thought over in my head again and again and found without surprise that it applies to every situation in my life. Being a part of ORR’s team and watching the progress we make as we take part in a goal bigger than we are is an experience that I am so grateful to be a part of. Being a part of God’s plan for His glory even with my shortcomings is no small ordeal at all and it’s a privilege I forget to be aware of. I am glad to have been reminded.
In time I believe that my reach, rather than my “role” will be greater, such that I make impactful differences where they are needed and ultimately bring Him glory.